I’ve been amazed by how negative, whiney, complainy women get men and seemingly ruin them for positive women down the road. Men don’t set out to date the negative women but so many women (and men) date to “complete themselves” through someone else. Instead they need to realize they are complete already and that happiness is an inside job. Positive women know this. Do negative, cheating men make it difficult for positive women to trust men? Absolutely, so we’re in the same boat but positive women have a paddle because they use their gut feelings and personal boundaries to their advantage. Here are some examples of what I’ve seen women do that make men gun-shy or cynical when it comes time to date a positive woman.
Lie – negative women lie about who they are what they like to do and what they are looking for in a man just to get someone to date them.
I knew a woman who hated Chinese food and when a man asked if she liked Chinese food, she said, “Do you like Chinese food?” When he said he loved it, she said she loved it too. Did she ever think that he might by upset when he finds out their first conversation was based on a lie or does she expect him to fall in love with her based on her other lies and ignore that first one? Geeze!
Whine – negative women whine to their man about things that would be better hammered out with girl friends who have the same communication style and understand.
When a woman comes home and complains about a catty woman at work, a man wants to “fix it.” When he can’t, he gets frustrated and feels like he can’t please her. If you are a whiney woman, dump on your negative, whiney female friends. If you are a positive woman, connect with a community of positive women who show you the catty woman at work is insecure and attempting to get a power fix by bugging you. Positive women know this stuff and it doesn’t bother them.
Expect him to be a girl – negative women expect a man to think like they do and handle things the same way as they would.
Negative women complain a LOT! The issues are inside but they take the low road of blame to avoid taking responsibility. No man likes to be bitched at so he either leaves (if he has healthy self-esteem and personal boundaries) or he stops listening all together. Positive women focus their time with their man on nurturing and complimenting instead of whining and complaining because they want to support him to be the best man he can be.
Make sure you are healthy mentally and emotionally and spiritually before dating and when you don’t feel like you “need” to date to validate your existence, THAT’S when you date. If men did this, it would eliminate the issue of negative, whiney, complainy women ruining the dating pool for positive women!